


Falling Slowly

by allonsyab



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Biphobia, Childhood Friends, Coming Out, Exploration, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Making Out, Massage, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oikawa is a huge nerd, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Porn Watching, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Wet Dream, background matsuhana - Freeform, freaking dorks these two are
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-08 11:36:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7756273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsyab/pseuds/allonsyab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi Haijme and Oikawa Tooru have been friends for as long as they can remember. Oikawa suffers an injury during practice one day and everything begins to snowball from there. (I can't write summaries, sorry)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Iwaizumi

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! So this is my first fic that I have written in a REALLY long time so I would really love some constructive criticism as I continue to work on this! I will be trying to update this at least once a week, if not sooner! The chapters are going to switch POV's and I will mark each chapter with who is narrating what.  
> A majority of this story is going to be based off of my experiences I've gone through over the past couple of years, along with an exploration into Oikawa and Iwaizumi's characters, plus I'm throwing some Matsuhana in there too because let's be honest, there's not enough Matsuhana out there. FYI, this will get explicit in later chapters so tags will be updated once we get there! 
> 
> Thanks for reading everyone and I really hope you enjoy it! :)

“Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan!”

  
As soon as he heard that annoying voice, yelling out that annoying nickname, Iwaizumi Haijme stopped and turned around to face his best friend, Oikawa Tooru. Iwaizumi and Oikawa have been best friends since, well forever really. They first met each other in elementary school on the playground one day during recess when Oikawa noticed Iwaizumi flipping over rocks.

_“Watcha doing?” Oikawa asked the boy who was crouched on the ground, seemingly interested in whatever was underneath the schoolyard’s rocks._

  
_“Lookin’ for bugs. Wanna join?”_

  
_“Sure! I’m Oikawa.”_

  
_“Iwaizumi. Nice to meet ya.”_ _At that moment, a small pillbug came scurrying out from underneath the rock Iwaizumi lifted off the ground._

  
_“Ahh there’s one! Iwa-chan! Get it!”_

  
_Confused at the new nickname, Iwaizumi looked up at Oikawa. He had a huge smile plastered on his flushed face, eyes locked on the little grey bug that was currently scurrying across Iwaizumi’s foot. Distracted, Iwaizumi hesitated in grabbing the little guy and missed out his opportunity to catch a bug._

  
_“Awhh man Iwa-chan! He got away! Let’s go find some more!”_ _Oikawa grabbed ahold of Iwaizumi’s hand and pulled him off the ground and away to the corner of the playground where there were more rocks, and hopefully more bugs for the pair to find._

 

“Yo Shitty-kawa.” Iwaizumi said.

  
“There you are again with the mean nicknames Iwa-chan! You should feel thankful to be blessed with my presence on this lovely morning!” Oikawa said with a flip of his brown hair.

  
“Yeah, yeah I hear ya.” Iwaizumi scoffed and continued his walk to school. Oikawa, being annoyingly taller than him, was easily able to catch up to Iwaizumi, even though he was a couple of meters ahead of him. Oikawa yammered about everything and anything the entire trip to school with Iwaizumi occasionally interjecting a few words here and there, both their shoulders bumping against each other along the way. Personal space never meant anything to Oikawa and the pressure of Oikawa’s shoulder against Iwaizumi’s was a constant reassurance to him that Oikawa was there, supporting him every step of the way, although Iwaizumi would never say that out loud to Oikawa. Their relationship was like this since they first became friends. Iwaizumi was more comfortable listening rather than sharing his thoughts and Oikawa loved to talk at Iwaizumi because he knew that Iwaizumi actually listened, and cared about what he had to say, unlike many of their other classmates. Oikawa and Iwaizumi put in equal amounts of effort and care into their relationship and that enabled them to become as close as they were. As annoying as Oikawa could be, Iwaizumi could not imagine where his life would be without him.

The school day passed fairly quickly and ended with volleyball practice. That was another aspect of his life that Iwaizumi had to thank Oikawa for. After they first met, Oikawa invited Iwaizumi to come with him to his volleyball practice. Iwaizumi took quickly to the sport and found that he really enjoyed it. The feel of having Oikawa toss to him and having his spike blow through a block and hit the opposite floor was something unlike Iwaizumi had ever felt before. It was like shock and awe and joy hit him all at once and although it was overwhelming at times, Iwaizumi could never find that same feeling in other aspects of his life. Both boys worked hard in their respective positions, both separately and together, and that hard work paid off. Now in their third year at Aoba Josai High School, Iwaizumi and Oikawa were a formidable duo in the volleyball world.  
Iwaizumi was working on his spikes with their second year setter, Yahaba Shigeru, when he first noticed it. Oikawa was across the gym working relentlessly on the insane jump serves that he is so well known for and landed oddly on his right leg. Iwaizumi saw Oikawa wince slightly as he walked back to work on yet another serve and decided to walk over to say something.

  
“Hold on Yahaba. I’ll be back in a second.” Iwaizumi said as he walked over to where Oikawa was. Oikawa was lost in thought standing on the end line and didn’t hear Iwaizumi approach. Slightly annoyed at being ignored by Oikawa, Iwaizumi then took the ball that he was holding in his hands and proceeded to chuck it at Oikawa’s head.

  
“Hey Ass-kawa. Why don’t we call it quits for today? I’ve done as much as I can with Yahaba and honestly I’m ready to go home. I got a new racing game that I’ve been wanted to play so you should come over so I can kick your ass in it.”

  
Oikawa, rubbing his slightly sore head, said “Mean Iwa-chan! If you throw too many balls at my head, you’ll mark up my beautiful face!” Iwaizumi face flushed slightly at that remark. Oikawa bent over to pick up the balls he left on the floor from practice and threw them into the bin.

  
“Honestly, you should know by now that it is I that will be doing the ass-kicking anyway.” Oikawa retorted. He walked over to the team bench and grabbed his water bottle and sweat towel. Oikawa wiped his face off with the towel and chucked it at Iwaizumi. “Let’s go Iwa-chan! Last one to the locker room gets to be Player 2!”

  
Oikawa turned away from Iwaizumi and proceeded to head off in the direction of the locker room. Iwaizumi turned around to yell out to a confused Yahaba, who didn’t really know what to do since Iwaizumi was the one who approached him about the extra practice.

“Go home Yahaba! We’re done for today! Thanks for all your hard work!”

Turning back to where Oikawa was and sighing, Iwaizumi followed Oikawa into the locker room, the spiker’s slight limp not going unnoticed.


	2. Oikawa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decided to upload the second chapter tonight too because I'm not 100% happy with the first chapter and really like this one better!  
> Thoughts will now be in italics instead of flashbacks just FYI! Swearing also comes up in this chapter

_He knows._

As soon as his foot hit the gym floor, Oikawa knew something was wrong with his knee. A sharp pain shot up his right knee and it took everything in Oikawa to not crumple to the floor. He knew that Iwaizumi saw, there was no denying that fact at all. Oikawa knew that Iwaizumi spends more time in practice watching him than focusing on his own game. Something as huge as Oikawa screwing up his knee would not go unnoticed by his ace. Oikawa turned back to the ball bin to grab another ball and stopped at the end line. He glanced down at the ball in his hands and his mind started racing.

_What if I did something horrible? I will never be able to play volleyball again. I’ll lose Iwa-chan. I’ll be worthless. He’ll never speak to me again, or worse, he’ll just scream at me and call me out on my worthlessness. Who am I without volleyball? Who am I without Iwaizumi?_

His hands started to grip the ball tighter and he could feel moisture collecting at the corners of his eyes, from the pain or his emotions, he wasn’t sure. His thoughts were interrupted by the smack of a ball against the backside of his head. Rubbing the back of his now sore head, Oikawa turned around to face Iwaizumi and caught the tail end of Iwaizumi’s sentence, something about video games? An invitation to go over to Iwaizumi’s to play a racing game! Oikawa loved competition as much as the next person and definitely did not want to pass up this opportunity at beating Iwaizumi at something.

”Mean Iwa-chan! If you throw too many balls at my head, you’ll mark up my beautiful face!” Chuckling to himself, Oikawa turned back to his area of practice and began collecting stray balls and placing them back into the bin. His knee throbbed with every step but Oikawa did not want Iwaizumi to suspect anything more than he already did. He decided to play it off and turn Iwaizumi’s attention to the completion that was about to ensue later tonight. Oikawa started making his way over to the team bench to grab his water bottle and sweat towel, sucking in his breath with every step to try and avoid making any noise that would alert Iwaizumi. Oikawa turned his head over his shoulder to look back at Iwaizumi and said, “Honestly, you should know by now that it is I that will be doing the ass-kicking anyway.” and proceeded to fling his now sweaty sweat towel at Iwaizumi’s face. This gave him plenty of cover to wince as he turned back toward the locker room.

“Let’s go Iwa-chan! Last one to the locker room gets to be Player 2!”

Oikawa started to walk towards the locker room and realized he was caught. He couldn’t walk without a slight limp and there was no way that Iwaizumi didn’t notice already. He decided to continue walking into the locker room to get a slight headstart on Iwaizumi, who he could hear telling poor Yahaba to go home. He slowly shuffled over to his locker and flopped himself down on the bench, stretched out his right leg, threw his arm over his face, and let out a much needed sigh. Oikawa decided that if Iwaizumi brings up his knee he would talk about it but this was something he’d much rather face on his own. Why let Iwaizumi suffer with him if this turns out badly? Eyes shut, Oikawa began focusing on his breaths as a way to calm himself and give himself something neutral to focus on. He started to doze off when he felt a heavy stare looming over his face. Moving his arm to the top of his head and slowly opening his eyes, Oikawa was shocked to see Iwaizumi just a few centimeters from his face.

“Boo.”

Yelling, Oikawa scrambled to get up and ended up falling off the bench that he was laying on.

“Good Lord Iwa-chan! Give a man a warning if you’re going to scare him like that! What if I hit my already injured head?” Oikawa yelled at Iwaizumi.

“That’s why they call it a ‘fright’ Shitty-kawa. It wouldn’t mean anything if I gave you a warning.”

Iwaizumi extended his hand own to Oikawa to help him up off the ground. Oikawa grabbed ahold of his hand and accidently used his right leg as leverage to pull himself off the ground. Pain shot up through his knee again and he crumpled back down to the ground.

_Shit._

Oikawa, afraid of what Iwaizumi would say, avoided his gaze and said, “Just let me do it. I can pick myself up.” He grabbed ahold of the bench that was alongside him and hoisted himself up onto the bench. He stretched his right leg out on the bench and started rubbing his knee. Still not looking at Iwaizumi, Oikawa started speaking.

“I know you saw me land wrong on my one serve today. This is nothing Iwa-chan, I can handle it, don’t worry! I promise by tomorrow that this will be gone and I will be back to my great and wonderful self!”

“Oikawa.” Said Iwaizumi.

“I mean, I’m sure this happens to the great athletes all the time! It’s just a little hiccup on my path to greatness! The Grand King can’t be brought down from a tiny mistake like a mucked-up landing on a serve!”

“Oikawa.” Iwaizumi said a bit louder, clenching his fists.

“Don’t worry Iwa-chan! I’ll make sure I take pain relievers tonight and I’ll ice it before bed and it’ll be good as new tomorrow! I can’t skip practice at all because I know my ace would miss me too much! Who would be there to serve to you if I wasn’t there? You would be like a lost puppy Iwa-chan!”

“OIKAWA!” Iwaizumi roared and slammed his fist down onto the bench, just centimeters from Oikawa’s knee.

Taken aback from Iwaizumi’s outburst, Oikawa immediately stopped his ramblings and looked up at Iwaizumi’s now red face.

“Shut the fuck up, okay! Stop blowing this off like it is no big deal! This is your body you’re talking about here, not some replaceable thing that you can just work to the ground and expect it to work perfectly every time. Stop talking for just one fucking second and listen to me. You are coming over to my house tonight to play some video games. One: I know you need a distraction, and two: I’ll be able to keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t overexert yourself. When you are at my house, you WILL be taking pain pills, you WILL ice your knee, and you WILL let me make sure you are not hurting. Are we not friends Oikawa? Let me help you.”

He crouched down next to Oikawa and extended his hand out to him, for the second time that afternoon. In all the years that Oikawa has been friends with Iwaizumi, he had never witnessed him quite like this. How could Oikawa be so selfish and so stupid? Of course Iwaizumi would want to help with something like this. Glancing down at his lap, Oikawa started fidgeting with his hands.

“Yeah, no, of course Iwaizumi. I want your help. I’m sorry. Let’s get changed and head over to your place soon.”

He snuck at side glance at Iwaizumi crouched next to him and what he saw was like a punch to the gut. Iwaizumi’s expression was one of complete concern for his best friend and he still had his hand extended out towards Oikawa. His brow was furrowed, lower lip slightly extended out, and jaw slightly clenched. Oikawa knew how much Iwaizumi cared for him but seeing this vulnerable expression on the normally serious/annoyed Iwaizumi was something totally new for Oikawa. He reached out and grabbed Iwaizumi’s hand and begun to pull himself off the bench. Oikawa stood and looked at Iwaizumi’s face and muttered a quick thank you. Iwaizumi returned his thanks with a slight smile, and was that a blush on his face or was the red on his cheeks just left over from his outburst? Oikawa turned away from his best friend and began removing his practice to change into street clothes for the walk back to Iwaizumi’s house. Every so often, he could feel Iwaizumi’s gaze hit his back and Oikawa was yet again touched by Iwaizumi’s concern for his well-being. He had always considered Iwaizumi to be his best friend but he never realized until this moment that Iwaizumi had that same consideration for him.

The boys finished changing their clothes, and after ensuring that everyone on the team had left for the evening and the gym was locked up, they began walking back to Iwaizumi’s house. Iwaizumi had insisted on Oikawa throwing his right arm over Iwaizumi’s left shoulder so that he could help support Oikawa and take off some of the pressure on his sore right knee. This walk back to Iwaizumi’s was oddly quiet and that made Oikawa uneasy.

_Please tell me I didn’t just fuck this up._


	3. Iwaizumi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Iwaizumi develops a healthy appreciation for Oikawa's legs. 
> 
> I also wanted to let you guys know that I start classes tomorrow (boo) so it may take a bit of time for me to update but I will still be trying updating regularly!

Iwaizumi always considered himself to be a strong person but he seriously underestimated how much Oikawa actually weighed. Just looking at him, Iwaizumi thought that the lighter framed Oikawa would have to have significantly less muscle mass compared to himself but boy was he wrong. Iwaizumi never fully realized how much Oikawa’s body had grown over the years and all of the time he spent perfecting his volleyball game really did wonders. Iwaizumi wanted to make sure his best friend spent as little time as possible putting that weight onto his sore knee so he slung Oikawa’s arm around his shoulder and supported most of his weight on their journey back to Iwaizumi’s house.

Iwaizumi knew that Oikawa was started to stress over the fact that Iwaizumi was irritated at him. He could feel it in the clenched fingers that had a tight grip over his shoulder and he could feel it in Oikawa’s tensed shoulders. It wasn’t that Iwaizumi was one hundred percent irritated with Oikawa. Well, maybe that did have something to do with his mood at the moment, but honestly, when isn’t he irritated with Oikawa? When Iwaizumi watched Oikawa stumble during that last serve at tonight’s practice, he felt like he was punched in the gut. Iwaizumi had basically spent all his life at Oikawa’s side and to see him try to avoid the pain like it was no big deal, Iwaizumi had no idea how to deal with that. That was the main reason for his silence on their walk home and he knew that Oikawa wanted to talk about it but Iwaizumi was afraid that he may say something to hurt Oikawa even more than what he had already did with his outburst in the locker room.

Their walk back from school took almost twice as long as usual and with Oikawa being silent the entire time, the walk felt like it took forever to Iwaizumi. The two boys separated from each other, approached the doorway, and Iwaizumi entered the house first, followed closely behind by Oikawa.

“Sorry for the intrusion.” Oikawa muttered as he walked through the doorway.

“Here are the guest slippers you usually use.” Iwaizumi said as he threw a pair of green slippers at Oikawa’s feet. “Once you put them on, I want you to go into the living room and sit down on the couch. I’ll get you some pain relievers and ice for your knee.”

“Iwa-“

“No Oikawa. Let me do this.” Iwaizumi interjected. “There’s no argument here. I want to help you with this and it’s the least I could do for yelling at you earlier when you were clearly hurt”

Surprised at Iwaizumi’s sentiment, Oikawa sat down at the threshold and proceeded to put on his slippers as Iwaizumi walked into the kitchen. Iwaizumi kept an ear out for any signs of distress from Oikawa but it seemed like he made it to the couch just fine. He grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen out of one of the kitchen cabinets, along with a glass for water. Pulling out a plastic bag, Iwaizumi filled it up with ice cubes from the freezer and wrapped it up in a hand towel for Oikawa to use. When he left the kitchen, he glanced over to the living room couch and saw Oikawa sprawled out on it, right leg propped up on some pillows, and hand thrown over his face. Iwaizumi walked over to Oikawa and set the glass and medication on the coffee table next to the couch. He took a step forward and bent over Oikawa’s face, moving his face within centimeters of Oikawa’s.

“Boo.”

Oikawa’s hand shifted up his forehead slightly as he looked to glance up skeptically at Iwaizumi’s face.

“You know Iwa-chan I won’t fall for that trick twice.”

Iwaizumi huffed out a small laugh and said, “Yeah I’d be pretty worried if I was able to scare you doing that again. I would have thought that volleyball I chucked at your head today at practice did a number on your memory.” Iwaizumi grabbed the glass of water and medication off of the coffee table and held it out for Oikawa to take.

“Here. Take three of these and drink some water. I’m going to put the ice pack on your knee and you should leave it on for fifteen minutes. I’m going to go make some food and when I’m done you can take the ice pack off.” Iwaizumi turned to walk out to the kitchen when he felt Oikawa grab his wrist.

“Iwaizumi. Thank you so much.”

Iwaizumi’s could feel his cheeks and ears warm up at Oikawa’s appreciation and before he got too embarrassed, turned away back toward the kitchen.

“Yeah don’t mention it” he said flippantly, trying to regain his composure.

Iwaizumi spent a couple minutes in the kitchen making udon for his and Oikawa’s supper, thankful that he didn’t have to make food for more than two people seeing as they were getting low on groceries. His parents were both away for the weekend, spending their anniversary at an onsen a few towns over. Iwaizumi’s parents were always very supportive of him and made sure that he had the skills necessary to survive without them whenever he went off to university, especially when it came to cooking. Iwaizumi never really thought himself to be that amazing of a cook but he’d shudder to think of what type of concoction Oikawa would come up with if left unsupervised in the kitchen.

Udon in hand, Iwaizumi made his way back to the living room to find Oikawa sitting up on the edge of the couch staring at his DVD collection.

“Man Iwa-chan! There’s nothing here! Not even Pacific Rim? What kind of movies do you actually watch?” Oikawa wined, still glaring at the movie collection.

“Oi Trashy-kawa! I told you that you had to keep that ice on your knee until I was done making food. Get your ass back onto that couch and eat the udon I so painstakingly made for you. And stop complaining about my movie collection. Just because I don’t have all six Star Wars movies doesn’t mean that my collection is shit.” Iwaizumi retorted while setting the udon down onto the coffee table.

“There’s seven Star Wars movies Iwa-chan! Seven!” Oikawa said as he stood up and made his way back to the couch, settling in the same position that he was in when he first sat down, making sure to keep his right knee elevated. Iwaizumi kept a close eye on Oikawa as he made his way back to the couch and hummed slightly in satisfaction when he wasn’t able to pick up a limp while Oikawa walked. He grabbed his bowl of udon and squeezed himself onto the edge of the couch, settling in alongside Oikawa’s hips. The boys sat in silence as they ate, but this silence did not have near the amount of tension and awkwardness as the silence they endured on their way home from school today.

“Ahhh delicious as always Iwa-chan! Have you ever considered becoming a chef instead of, well whatever it is you want to do with your life?” Oikawa said, putting his bowl back down onto the coffee table.

“Nahh I mean, my parents both have taught me well but I could never keep up with those professional chefs. They’re on a whole ‘nother level.” Iwaizumi pondered. “I actually have been thinking recently about becoming a doctor.”

Oikawa turned to look at Iwaizumi with surprise plastered all over his face.

“Seriously Iwa-chan?! That’s amazing! You may be grumpy most of the time but I think you would make an amazing doctor! You have done wonders for my knee and I’ve only been here for less than an hour! Imagine what you could do in an actual hospital. Dr. Iwaizumi. That has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Iwaizumi tried to blow off Oikawa’s praise and could feel his face warm up from embarrassment again for the second time in one night. “I haven’t made any definitive choices though for it. It’s a very tough path to go down on and I may not even be cut out for it, but yeah. I think that being able to help anyone through something that I can fix would be pretty rewarding. I’ve spent a little extra time outside of school looking through some sports medicine books since it is pretty interesting and actually relevant to my life. There was a section on massage therapies that I could actually try on your knee if you’d like?”

“Sure Iwa-chan! Oh, I mean Dr. Iwaizumi.” Oikawa said slyly, raising his eyebrows and glancing up at Iwaizumi’s now beet red face.

“Shut up and move your legs.” Iwaizumi grunted as he got up off the couch and walked over to where Oikawa’s legs were just moments ago. He sat back down on the couch, grabbed ahold of Oikawa’s legs, and swung them up so that they were laying on his lap. Iwaizumi, once again, noticed how heavy Oikawa’s legs actually were. He could see the definition of Oikawa’s quads and the outline of the muscle that propels his setter off the floor during a jump serve. His eyes wandered down past Oikawa’s knees and landed on his calves, noting the swell of muscle sitting on top of lithe ankles. Iwaizumi’s hands twitched in anticipation of being able to touch such wonderfully athletic and defined legs when Oikawa started bouncing said legs up and down on Iwaizumi’s lap.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go Dr. Iwaizumi!” yelled Oikawa in a way that reminded Iwaizumi of Date Tech’s crowd during a volleyball match. Now focused on the task at hand, Iwaizumi placed both of his hands on Oikawa’s right knee and went to work. His fingers, normally clenched in a fist in irritation, began to soften as they moved along the sides of Oikawa’s knee, firmly pressing down as they moved. They encircled his knee cap, once, twice, three times and then made their way down along the backside of his knee. Iwaizumi made sure to spend little time on that part of his knee, since he knew that it was a ticklish spot for Oikawa and didn’t want him to jerk his leg up and smack him in the face with it.

“Iwa-chan watch it I’m ticklish!”

“I know Ass-kawa but it’s part of the routine. Deal with it!” Iwaizumi continued on with the massage. He ran his hands down further along Oikawa’s knee, reaching the swell of his calf muscle. Iwaizumi started pulling his hands back up Oikawa’s leg, slowly starting to feel himself getting lost in the motions. His hands, seemingly not under Iwaizumi’s control, kept traveling up Oikawa’s leg slowly, and inadvertently made their way past his knee and started making their way up his thigh.

“Iwa-chan.” Oikawa said warningly.

Iwaizumi was still zoned out and his hands kept traveling up Oikawa’s thigh, starting to push his gym shorts further up his leg.

“IWA-CHAN!” Oikawa yelled, snapping Iwaizumi out of his trance. Iwaizumi looked over at Oikawa’s now bright red face and stared at him in confusion. As if to answer his silent question, Oikawa broke eye contact to glance down at Iwaizumi’s hands still firmly pressed against his mid-thigh and looked back up at Iwaizumi. He glanced down at what Oikawa was looking at.

_Oh shit._

Iwaizumi quickly removed his wandering hands from Oikawa’s leg and started to scramble up off of the couch.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! Oh my god, I am so sorry!” Iwaizumi repeated himself over and over again as he tried to hide his bright red face from Oikawa’s matching one.

“No, no it’s fine Iwa-chan. I don’t mind! You were just getting caught up in the moment of doing something that you enjoy. Not that I’m saying you enjoy rubbing down my legs but you enjoy helping me feel good. Wait. Fuck, shit. No, not what I meant!” Oikawa started trying to back track his contribution to the awkward moment when Iwaizumi started busting out into laughter.

“What are you laughing about?” Oikawa questioned.

Bent over from laughing so hard, Iwaizumi replied, “We are both so awkward! Like this situation would only happen to us.” Iwaizumi continued to howl with laughter.

Oikawa, amused from seeing Iwaizumi like this, chimed in with “Well it could be worse! Makki-chan told me there was this one time he and Mattsun were fighting over the tv remote and it turned into a tickle fight and when it was over, Mattsun had a boner!”

Iwaizumi thought he was done laughing but after hearing that, burst out into laughter.

“Oikawa those two are dating! How is that even more awkward?” Iwaizumi said laughing hysterically.

“Well, Makki told me this happened even before they started dating!”

Iwaizumi continued laughing and said, “Well I’m sure this would have turned into Matsuhana situation if either of us were gay. Thank god that’s not the case!” He then started wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, which meant he didn’t see Oikawa’s face drop slightly at that comment.

“Oh man. I haven’t laughed like that in a while! Okay well let’s break out this new game of mine so I can kick your ass again!” Iwaizumi said standing up from his spot on the floor.

Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi with a brilliant smile, the one that Iwaizumi knew was only meant for his enemies.

“Oh it’s fucking on.”

 

* * *

 

“Holy shit is it really past two am?” Iwaizumi said glancing at the time on his cell phone. The boys spent a few hours playing Iwaizumi’s game and after a few rounds of back and forth Iwaizumi winning and Oikawa winning, it became clear that there wasn’t going to be a clear overall winner this time. They decided to put on a movie, and after Oikawa’s constant bothering, he found a stream online of Pacific Rim. Iwaizumi was not one to really enjoy sci-fi movies, especially not at the level that Oikawa does, but he found himself engrossed in the movie’s plot line only five minutes into the movie. He really enjoyed the Jaegar pilot’s relationship and how connected those who were drift-compatible were. Plus, the Kaju/Jaegar fight scenes were pretty badass. Oikawa, who had seen the movie hundreds of times, fell asleep around the halfway point of the movie. He was slumped against Iwaizumi’s shoulder, legs stretched out behind him, and head tilted slightly forward. Iwaizumi glanced down at his sleeping best friend and watched as a small piece of hair that fell forward, moved back and forth in time with his breathing. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there watching Oikawa sleep but suddenly he was met with the desire to tuck that piece of hair back behind his ear where it belonged. He reached forward with his free hand and proceeded to do just that. His hand lingered on the side of Oikawa’s face for a few seconds, accompanied by a slight tightening of his chest. Iwaizumi wasn’t sure what that was about and just attributed it to the late hour. He decided it was time to go to bed and slid off the couch, trying so hard to not disturb Oikawa. He slid a pillow under his head and threw a blanket over his body. Iwaizumi walked back to his bedroom, promptly changed into pajamas, and slid into bed. Slowly shutting his eyes, Iwaizumi was bombarded with the image of him back on the couch, snuggled up with Oikawa. He watched as he leaned in close to Oikawa’s face, and this time, instead of a “boo,” he saw himself gently press his lips against Oikawa’s. Iwaizumi’s eyes shot open immediately.

_What the fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to keep up the theme of having my chapters end on a thought..
> 
> Next chapter: Some more Matsuhana and Oikawa trying to figure out exactly what's going on with Iwa-chan!


	4. Oikawa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa has no clue what's going on, we meet his mother and mention of his sister, and introducing one of my favorite pairs: Hanamaki and Matsukawa, the Meme Team themselves!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap I'm so sorry for taking so long with this update! My classes this semester are pretty intense, learning all about animal diseases but I'm starting to feel more like a doctor! Here's the longest chapter to date! I'm really going to try and have this updated once a week if I can! I also think I'm going to get about eight chapters out of this fic, so technically we're at the halfway point! Things are really going to get intense in the next chapter and the rating will go up, just as an FYI
> 
> Mizuko is Oikawa's older sister! She won't be featured much in this fic since she no longer lives with Oikawa and his mother but she's still fiercely protective of her little brother. 
> 
> I've also been reading this amazing fic by nekojita called "Way Down We Go"! If you're a fan of The Foxhole Court, go check it out! It is so well written and I cannot believe that their fic isn't somehow canon holy shit.

“Think about it Iwa-chan! Space is just so massive! How myopic could your world view be to think that there isn’t a possibility of life outside of our own planet?”

Iwaizumi picked up the couch pillow next to him and smacked Oikawa in the chest.

“I’m going to start calling you Spacey-kawa if you keep this shit up.” Iwaizumi retorted, moving himself slightly closer to Oikawa on the couch.

Oikawa picked his phone up from the table to show Iwaizumi a photo of the Eagle Nebula Pillars of Creations. Shoving the phone at Iwaizumi while leaning in closer to him, Oikawa wined “Just look at this! Isn’t it amazing! Like this is real Iwa-chan! Not some computer-rendered drawing of what scientists think it looks like but actual honest-to-god picture of what’s out in space.” He brought his head down to rest on Iwaizumi’s shoulder, still staring at the phone. “It’s just so beautiful.”

“Oikawa.” Iwaizumi whispered.

Oikawa turned his head to look up at Iwaizumi’s face and saw him staring intently at his face.

“You are much more beautiful to me than some stupid space picture.”

 

* * *

 

Oikawa awoke with a gasp, sitting himself up off the couch that he fell asleep on while watching Pacific Rim.

_Not real. Of course not, it was only a dream. Again._

He stretched his arms above his head until he felt his shoulders pop and then stretched his legs out, pointing his toes towards the opposite armrest. He could feel slight tension in his right knee but he knew that whatever he did to his knee turning practice, it wasn’t something super serious. No, he’d be back to normal by practice on Monday. Oikawa chuckled to himself silently thanking Iwaizumi for his help and then quickly proceeded to blush after remembering how adventurous Iwaizumi’s hands got during the massage. The blush, starting out as one of pleasure, soon became one of anger once he remembered the conversation that followed the massage. He knew that Iwaizumi didn’t mean anything by his passing comment about how thankful he was that neither one was gay but that didn’t mean that it still didn’t hurt.

Oikawa still had yet to come out to his best friend and comments like that were the main reason why in all the years he knew he was gay, he never told Iwaizumi. Hell, the only people that knew was his mother and sister, thanks to a few misplaced BL novels that Oikawa stole from his sister and forgot to hide them in the proper place after he was done, well, educating himself. Not even Hanamaki and Matsukawa, the only other gay men that Oikawa was acquainted with, knew. Oikawa knew that coming out to Iwaizumi meant admitting to his best friend that he has harbored a crush on him all of these years as well and Oikawa knew that would NOT go over well at all.

It started out innocently enough, Oikawa just wanted to be around Iwaizumi all the time, to be able to tell him everything he learned that day while reading up on the solar system or to watch movies about zombies or intergalactic wars. It wasn’t until they reached high school that Oikawa knew his “puppy love” had changed into something more complex and a whole lot scarier. Once he started waking up either hard or with crusted boxers, mind going wild with thoughts of Iwaizumi, Oikawa knew he was fucked.

Tired of just sitting on the couch thinking about something that really required a cup of coffee in his system at least before tackling, Oikawa got up and walked over to Iwaizumi’s bedroom. Knocking on the door, he called out to Iwaizumi softly, “Iwa-chan. Iwa-chan. Are you up? I want some coffee!” Oikawa waited a few minutes, listening against the door for any signs of life in the bedroom, and frowned to himself when he didn’t hear anything. Thinking that he must be in the bathroom or something, Oikawa walked back out to the kitchen to go and make some coffee for the two of them. When he approached the counter, he noticed a small sheet of paper sitting there with some writing on it. Taking a closer look, Oikawa read:

 

“Went out for a morning run. Feel free to eat some breakfast but you really should get home to finish your homework. I know you have an exam on Monday. I think there’s some Poptarts in the cupboard. If you’re still here when I get back, I’m going to kick your ass.

-Iwaizumi”

 

_Weird._

That letter wasn’t like Iwaizumi at all. Normally when Oikawa would sleep over, Iwaizumi would wake him up from whatever spot he crashed on the night before and then he would make them pancakes or eggs for breakfast. The two would then laze around for the rest of the afternoon, watching tv or playing video games, until Oikawa’s mother called him home for dinner. Never in all this time that Oikawa knew Iwaizumi did he skip out on morning breakfast. Feeling himself getting slightly anxious with the turn of events, Oikawa skipped out on his breakfast, quickly grabbing his things from the living room, and leaving the Iwaizumi house, making sure to check if the spare key was still in its proper place before locking the door and shutting it behind him. Thankfully, Oikawa only lived up the road from Iwaizumi’s house so although the walk itself was short, it felt so long to Oikawa, who spent the entire time thinking up of scenarios of what could have prompted Iwaizumi to actually get up early. The kid had never been a morning person for as long as Oikawa knew him.

 

* * *

 

**Saturday 21:34p**

**To:** Iwa-channnnn~~~

Hey Iwa-chan! I haven’t heard anything from you and I wanted to make sure you didn’t fall in a ditch somewhere or got kidnapped on your run today. Missed pancakes this morning….

 

Oikawa flopped himself down on his bed, sighing, as he threw his phone down on his comforter. The message he sent was the third one of the day and he had yet to hear back from Iwaizumi, even if it was a text telling him to shut up or to stop being annoying. Running his fingers through his wavy brown hair, Oikawa thought back to last night’s events. He always made it a point to watch himself around Iwaizumi, never allowing more than light touches and glances at his face lasted only a few seconds. Hell, Iwaizumi’s insistence on basically carrying him home and the massage yesterday was the longest Oikawa let them touch.

_The massage._ _Oh my god._

That’s what it was Oikawa decided. He tried to remember if he made any weird noises and, although he had felt a tightening in his lower abdomen while Iwaizumi ran his hands up his legs, Oikawa knew his reaction couldn’t have been misconstrued as anything but innocent. He even made a point to have a little bit of a freak out when those hands started pushing his shorts further up his legs, even though what he wanted more than anything was for those strong, yet soft, fingers to head further up into that uncharted territory, a place that Oikawa wanted to lose himself in but was so utterly terrified to go there.

Sighing yet again, Oikawa turned himself towards his bedroom wall, feeling overwhelmingly frustrated but yet like he was missing something. He hoped to himself that Iwaizumi just let his phone die and hadn’t seen his text messages just yet and not that he was purposely ignoring him.

“Iwa-chan, I’ll be the one kicking your ass if that’s the case.” Oikawa murmured to himself.

 

**Saturday 23:02p**

**To:** Iwa-channnnn~~~

I hope you’ve been sleeping all this time Iwa-chan. I’m getting worried.

 

**Sunday 08:36a**

**To:** Iwa-channnnn~~~

Good morning Iwa-chan!! You know what I’m really craving right now? Pancakes. Too bad I don’t have a best friend around somewhere to make them for me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**Sunday 11:45a**

**To:** Iwa-channnnn~~~

Man, I’ve been so stressed from my best friend gone missing that I cannot focus on my homework!! (ᗒᗩᗕ)

 

**Sunday 13:57p**

**To:** Iwa-channnnn~~~

Hey asshole. I’ve sent you like ten messages now. At least have the decency to text me back. If you don’t soon, I’m calling your mother.

 

Oikawa had to stop himself from throwing his phone against his wall after sending his last message. This has been the longest that Iwaizumi and Oikawa have gone without talking and Oikawa was so confused on why. He got very little sleep from a combination of worrying about Iwaizumi’s fate and combing through his memories about Friday night, trying to figure out exactly what in the hell was going on. Whatever was going on in Iwaizumi’s mind, Oikawa was going to figure it out. He wasn’t losing his best friend if he could help it. Groaning to himself, Oikawa resolved to at least attempt working on his homework to try and help pass the time while waiting for a return text from Iwaizumi.

 

* * *

 

Oikawa awoke the following morning to, no surprise, no contact from Iwaizumi. Feeling more angry than upset at this point, Oikawa got up to get ready for school. School! Iwaizumi couldn’t possibly try to avoid him there, especially with practice. Mood slightly improved, Oikawa hurriedly threw his uniform on and ran downstairs, hoping to possibly catch Iwaizumi on his way to school. Oikawa’s mad dash out the door was quickly stopped by his mother.

“Tooru! Get back here and grab some breakfast before you leave!” she said, throwing her arm against his chest when he hit the bottom of the stairs.

“Sorry Mother but I have to be off!” Oikawa said, ducking under his mother’s outstretched arm. Her quick reflexes grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him into the kitchen.

“No Tooru, you have plenty of time to get to school. You can at least eat some toast and egg before you go running off. What’s the hurry this morning? Normally it takes Haijme-kun barging in through the door to even get you out of bed. You haven’t even had your normal coffee yet.” She gave him a questioning look while making sure Oikawa did eat.

“Mhmbdm nuthng mm” Oikawa said, mouth filled with the toast his mother handed to him.

“Tooru you know better. Talk with your mouth empty. Don’t be rude.” She scolded him gently, leaning against the counter.

“Sorry. I mean to say it’s nothing mom. I’m just trying to make sure Iwaizumi doesn’t leave without me.”

“Speaking of Haijume-kun, I was surprised that you came home early on Saturday. Normally you spend all day over there and it takes either Mizuko or myself to bring you back here at a decent time. Is there something going on you want to talk about?” She raised an eyebrow to Oikawa knowingly.

Turning bright red from what his mother was implying Oikawa stammered out an explanation.

“It’s not like that mother! I don’t like Iwa-chan like that! He’s only my best friend, nothing more. He was just acting weird on Saturday and I’m worried about him.”

“Uh huh. Whatever you say Tooru. You know that you can talk to me about everything right? I may be old but I’m not stupid. You’ve had a crush on that kid for years now and it was only a matter of time honey~” She then proceed to wink at a now bright red Oikawa.

“MOM! That’s not it! Ahhh you’re so embarrassing!” Oikawa set his plate down on the kitchen and hid his face in his hands, headed for the front door.

“You know I love you Tooru! Have a good day with your Iwa-chan honey! I’ll be looking forward to an actual explanation when you get home!~” She said with a smile and a wave of her fingers as her youngest child walked out the front door, ear tips still visibly red from the loving embarrassment that she loved to torment him with. Sighing to himself, Oikawa was glad that was over and done with. Still, he was so thankful to have a wonderful mother who accepted every single thing about him. He definitely could have had it much worse, he thought to himself.

 

Heading down the road to Iwaizumi’s house, Oikawa didn’t see any sign of Iwaizumi. He approached their front door, knocked and waited for someone to answer. He heard the click of the door being unlocked, it slowly opened, and to Oikawa’s disappointment, Iwaizumi’s mother answered the door. She was a stern looking woman who totally intimidated Oikawa.

“Hello Iwaizumi-san.” He said bowing low to the woman in front of him. “I was hoping that Iwa-chan was still home. I was up early for once this morning and I was afraid I beat him to leaving for school.”

“Haijme left about an hour ago for school. I’m surprised you are here Tooru since you were supposed to be at early morning practice. As captain of the team, shouldn’t you know these things?” Although Iwaizumi’s mother was shorter than him, she still made Oikawa feel like the smallest ant and her stern words felt like an encroaching boot, coming to smash him into the sidewalk.

“Oh. Oh no. I totally forgot Iwaizumi-san. I cannot believe this. I am so sorry for any inconvenience I brought to you this morning. I must be off! Have a pleasant day!” He flashed her one of his brilliant smiles and took off running down the street. Running not because he was late for a missed practice that he somehow forgot, but from the tears that started to leak out from the corner of his eyes and the truth that his best friend lied, just to avoid walking with him to school.

 

Oikawa managed to catch a few glimpses of Iwaizumi but since they weren’t even in the same class, Oikawa was finding it very difficult to talk to his best friend. He thought that lunch time would be the best time to catch Iwaizumi and to figure out what in the hell was going on.

Oikawa was making his way to the cafeteria when he felt two arms on either side of him fling themselves over his shoulders.

“Oikawa!”

“Our fearless leader!”

“Well if it isn’t my two favorite gays, Makki and Mattsun. It’s no wonder you two are together, the nicknames just fit together so well.” Oikawa said, shrugging his fellow teammates arms off of him.

“Those aren’t the only things of ours that fit well together” retorted Matsukawa with a smirk and a glance up at his boyfriend, who starting laughing.

“Ha ha very funny Mattsun. You’re disgusting.” Oikawa said sticking his tongue out at the two. He kept walking to the cafeteria, slightly annoyed to be stopped by the two he affectionately called the “Meme Team.” “I have to be off now. Go annoy someone else.”

“Hey now Oikawa what’s the matter? You normally enjoy our comedy routine,” said Hanamaki running up to his captain’s side.

“Yeah, so much so that you told us to go professional with it! I even believe you told us that you would attend our first show?” Matsukawa said, following close behind Hanamaki and Oikawa.

“No I said you should go to clown school because that’s what you are. Clowns.” Oikawa snapped.

Matsukawa grabbed ahold of Oikawa’s arm at that harsh comment and looked at him. “What is going on with you today? You may be a dick, especially to that setter from Karasuno, but not like this and not to us.” Matsukawa then realizing that there was another member from their third year group missing, looked around for Iwaizumi.

“Where’s Iwaizumi? He’s normally attached at your hip, and I don’t mean in the sexy kind of way either. Did something happen?”

Oikawa grabbed at Matsukawa’s hand on his arm and said, “That’s precisely where I’m headed. Apparently Iwa-chan decided at some point this weekend that I was a person to be avoided and I haven’t talked to him all weekend and he left without me for school this morning. I’m going to grab food and have a nice little chat with Iwa-chan.” Oikawa pulled Matsukawa’s hand off his arm and flashed a smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes, at the couple. Matsukawa turned to look at Hanamaki, who was standing there looking about as shocked as Matsukawa did. Oikawa and Iwaizumi not speaking was not only a bad thing for their friend group, but this could spell trouble later on during volleyball practice.

“Bye you two. I’ll see you at practice.” Oikawa turned on his heels away from Hanamaki and Matsukawa, feeling even more nervous, especially when he heard Hanamaki mumble under his breath, “dude’s got it bad.”

 

Oikawa walked up to the food counter and purchased a bento box and some milk bread for his lunch and began to search the room for Iwaizumi. After making a few laps around the cafeteria, and ignoring the inquiring glances of his classmates watching him do this, Oikawa flopped himself down next to Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

“Ughhh well I guess I lied. I’m seeing you now at lunch.” Oikawa said with a sigh.

“Okay dude spill. What happened between you and Iwaizumi?” Hanamaki said.

“See you know that’s the thing! Absolutely nothing happened! I spent all day Saturday and Sunday thinking about that night and couldn’t come up with anything. I twisted my knee during practice, Iwa-chan took me back to his place and took care of it, and then we spent the rest of the night playing video games and watching movies like we normally do. When I woke up the next morning, Iwa-chan was gone and left me note with something about going for a run and told me to go home or he’d beat my ass.” Oikawa groaned and threw his head against the table with a loud thump.

“Okay dude don’t go giving yourself a concussion now.” Hanamaki said putting his hand on top of Oikawa’s head and ruffling his hair a bit.

Matsukawa, looking at Oikawa intently, said “What do you mean he took care of your knee? What exactly happened?”

Oikawa, head still against the table, groaned and threw his hands on top of his head. “Nothing I said! He just gave me some ice, massaged it, and that was it!”

“He gave you a massage.” Matsukawa deadpanned.

Hanamaki, chuckling to himself, said “Oh and then what? Did you put the moves on him? Looked up at him with those beautiful long lashes of yours and said ‘Kiss me Iwa-chan!’” Matsukawa shot him a look at the precise moment Oikawa’s head shot up off the table with an expression that could only be described as terrified.

“What are you talking about Makki? I said nothing happened. Period. He was just a friend helping another friend out.” Oikawa said in a rush, frantically looking between the two boys sitting in front of him.

“Oikawa, since the day we met you, we’ve known you’ve had a hard-on for Iwaizumi. We also know you know it too so cut the bullshit and talk to us. Are we not your best friends too? And also being gay, we both kind of know what you’re going through.” Hanamaki replied, reaching over to put his hand on Oikawa’s clenched fist. Well, at least now Oikawa had a few more people in his corner regarding his sexual orientation.

“Before Hiro and I dated, I was a mess. I knew growing up that I was only attracted to men but I had no idea how to deal with that. I kept quiet and didn’t let anyone in. Anyone who talked to me dealt with smart ass comments and sarcasm and for some reason, this eyebrow-less kid next to me found that attractive. It took many long conversations with Hiro and some self-reflection for me to work through my issues but I couldn’t have done it without him.” Matsukawa turned to look at his boyfriend with a loving smile and then turned back to Oikawa. “I’d be willing to bet this isn’t a one sided situation going on here. I’m not saying this is going to be easy in the slightest but you need to talk to people, especially Iwaizumi, if you want things to go back to normal, or you know, more.” He said with a sly grin, wiggling his rather large eyebrows.

Oikawa shot Matsukawa a quick glare but then gave a large sigh. “Yeah I realize that I need to talk to him but that’s kind of hard considering he’s been avoiding me.”

Hanamaki grinned at Oikawa and said, “We could help with that if you want!”

“No thank you! Last time I asked the two of you for help with someone I ended up with ice cream down my shirt and a black eye. Thanks but no thanks. Now, I’m going to leave to try and find Iwa-chan before afternoon classes start. Try not to start anything while I’m gone.” Said Oikawa, standing up, holding his half-eaten bento box and untouched milk bread. He was going to have to eat that after practice he guessed.

Turning back to the pair, Oikawa gave the two of them a sincere smile. “But seriously. Thank you both.”

“Buh-bye lover boy! Good luck!” said Hanamaki with a wave of his fingers. Matsukawa, leaning into his boyfriend, shot a few finger guns at Oikawa.

Rolling his eyes, Oikawa turned away from the “meme team” but not before he heard Hanamaki say to Mattsun, “Babe you do realize I do have eyebrows right? They’re literally on my face. Right here.”

Chuckling to himself, Oikawa left the cafeteria and started wandering throughout the school, searching for Iwaizumi in the few minutes he had before classes start. He walked past Iwaizumi’s classroom and glanced inside. There he saw Iwaizumi sitting at his desk, head resting on his hands, with a scowl across his face.

“IWA-CHAN!” Oikawa yelled and ran into the classroom.

Iwaizumi turned to look at his best friend and a look of panic crossed his face. He scrambled to get up out of his chair and sprinted past Oikawa out into the hall. Oikawa ran after him, long legs allowing him to get close enough to grab ahold of Iwaizumi’s wrist and pulled on it to try and stop him from running. Next thing he knew, he felt Iwaizumi’s hand twist to grab ahold of his arm and then was slammed into the row of lockers alongside the wall. Iwaizumi ripped his hand away from Oikawa like he was being burned and turned away from him.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

Oikawa gasped quietly at the coldness of Iwaizumi’s statement and started to walk towards him, shoulders now slightly tensed with pain.

“Iwa-“

“Oikawa. Don’t.” Iwaizumi cut him off. “Just leave me alone.” Oikawa watched as his best friend stormed off away from him and it felt like the hand that just a few nights ago made his knee feel like new again, reached into his chest and twisted.  He watched Iwaizumi until he could see him no more and then slowly slide down the lockers he was just thrown against. He put his head into his knees until he felt someone tap his shoulder. Looking up he saw Matsukawa looking at him with a look of utmost pity. It wasn’t until that moment that he realized he was crying. Matsukawa held out a hand to Oikawa, which he grabbed, and then pulled him into a tight hug.

“I know it’s tough but Iwaizumi needs to work through this himself. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Oikawa started quietly crying against Matsukawa’s shoulder and the pair stood there until the bell rang, signaling the start of afternoon classes.

“C’mon. Let’s get you freshened up and to class. We can figure this out before practice.”

_Oh shit. Practice. Well this is going to be fun._


	5. Iwaizumi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phew this is a lengthy chapter!! I just really love writing Iwaizumi, we're so similar. Picking right up where the last chapter let off, we finally get to learn what's running through poor Iwaizumi's head. Woo for a rating change!
> 
> I'm currently in the middle of a nine exam marathon so the next chapter won't be posted for a bit, sorry in advance!

Iwaizumi turned the corner towards the stairwell where he was abruptly stopped.

“Woah Iwaizumi where’s the fire?” said Hanamaki. “It’s soon time for class to start and, you sir, are going the wrong way.”

“Stomachache” grunted out Iwaizumi, refusing to look at Hanamaki in the face. Iwaizumi brushed past Hanamaki and headed down the stairwell, still not paying attention to where he was going. He knew that if he stuck around to talk to Hanamaki he would lose the little control he had over his anger, and that would not be good for either of the two boys. He knew he fucked up and that he had hurt Oikawa, who he was pretty sure would not even consider him a friend anymore after his behavior the past couple of days.  

Looking around, Iwaizumi realized that he ended up in the volleyball team’s equipment room without noticing.

“Heh.” Iwaizumi scoffed. Go figure this would be the one place in the school building he’d end up in. Glancing up at the clock, Iwaizumi realized that he never heard the bell ring for afternoon classes either. Oh well, he guessed he was just going to skip out on classes for the rest of the afternoon.

_“Iwa-chan, you know Coach will get mad if you skip out on classes! If he benches you, you know we can’t play without you, right?!”_

He could almost hear Oikawa lecturing him for playing hooky. That little passing thought of Oikawa was quickly accompanied by a tightening of his chest. The little control Iwaizumi had over his anger, snapped as soon as Oikawa’s voice snuck into his head.

“FUCK!” shouted Iwaizumi suddenly as he lashed out to knock down the floor mops that then fell to the floor with a crash. He sat down on the ground, placing his head against his knees and wrapping his arms around them. Iwaizumi was always a frustrated crier but now he wasn’t sure if the tears starting to fall down his face, wetting his pants in the process, were from frustration or the feeling of loss that was continuing to grow within Iwaizumi. He knew that he fucked up majorly, even an idiot would be able to see that. Iwaizumi just couldn’t look at Oikawa right now without thinking about his dream he had during their sleepover… and those that followed the next few nights. He just couldn’t get Oikawa out of his head. The pretty boy setter was the first thing Iwaizumi thought of when he woke up in the morning and the last thing that crossed his mind before he fell asleep.

“There’s no way” Iwaizumi mumbled into his knees. “I’ve never liked boys. I’m not gay.”

He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince.

Iwaizumi sat on the floor for a few more minutes before he pulled himself up off the floor. Wiping the residual tears off his face, Iwaizumi made his way to the locker room bathroom so he could clean himself up before heading back up to class. Looking at himself in the mirror, he could see how puffy and red his eyes were. Sighing to himself, Iwaizumi splashed his face with cold water a few times to try and help his face get back to normal. One glance at the mirror showed Iwaizumi that it really didn’t help.

_God damn it._

Iwaizumi decided that the rest of his afternoon classes are just going to have to wait and plopped himself onto one of the locker room benches to lay down.

 

He was woken up a few hours later when he heard someone open the door to the locker room. Kindaichi waved at Iwaizumi and started to walk over where he was now sitting up on the bench.

“Hey Iwaizumi-senpai! You’re here early. Woah, are you okay?” Kindaichi could see on Iwaizumi’s face that there was something going on.

“Yeah I’m just not feeling well today, that’s it.” Iwaizumi said offhandedly, avoiding eye contact with Kindaichi. “Don’t worry about it and get ready for practice.” Iwaizumi flinched when he realized he still had to go through practice with Oikawa before he was able to go home.

_Fuck, practice._

How could have he forgotten?

 

* * *

 

 

Practice went about as horrible as Iwaizumi could have predicted. Once the rest of the team joined Iwaizumi and Kindaichi in the locker room, Iwaizumi kept glancing at Oikawa out of the corner of his eye. To any other person, Oikawa looked completely normal but Iwaizumi knew, from his tense shoulders to the involuntary flinch Oikawa had when they accidently made eye contact, that Oikawa was just as upset, if not more compared to Iwaizumi. Normally, Iwaizumi and Oikawa would get changed next to each other since their lockers were right next to each other. Today, Oikawa was changing over by Matsukawa and Hanamaki. Iwaizumi felt his anger flare up when he saw Matsukawa hand Oikawa one of his practice shirts to change into. Oikawa wouldn’t even come close to Iwaizumi to change in his proper practice attire.

The beginning drills of practice went by without a hitch for Iwaizumi. No, overall, the majority of practice that day was actually fairly normal in all actuality. It wasn’t until their coach split the team up to work in pairs that of course Iwaizumi and Oikawa were put together. That’s when his afternoon went from bad to worse.

Panicking, Iwaizumi ran up to their coach to try and fix what he thought was going to turn out to be a horrible situation.

“Um coach don’t you think it would be a better idea for me to work with Yahaba today like we did the other day? I felt like we didn’t get enough to time to accomplish as much as we wanted and I would rather spend this time working with him instead.”

His coach looked at Iwaizumi skeptically and said, “You are asking to work with Yahaba instead of Oikawa, the same person you have spent hours in extra practice working with. Are you feeling okay by any chance Iwaizumi-kun?”

Blanching, Iwaizumi tried to recover because he knew Oikawa was listening in. The hole he dug himself in was just getting deeper and deeper. “No, no everything is fine! I’m just saying that Yahaba needs someone from the third year class to work with him and I felt like we didn’t have enough time to practice the last time we got to work together. That’s all.” Iwaizumi took a deep breath and said, “I will work with Oikawa today Coach. Sorry for the inconvenience.” He walked away from his coach and back to where Oikawa was standing, waiting for him.

“Iwaizumi. You don’t have to do this.” Oikawa said quietly, not looking at Iwaizumi.

Oh, now that hurt. No annoying nickname like he would usually call him. The clenching feeling was back in Iwaizumi’s chest and he unconsciously reached up to grab at his practice shirt and started to rub, as if he could rub out the pain.

“Stop. Let’s just get this over with” Iwaizumi said gruffly, pushing past Oikawa as he made his way over to the court where they were supposed to work on setting and spiking drills together. It wasn’t until the third missed spike when Iwaizumi lost the small amount of control on his emotions for the second time that afternoon. As the ball soared over his head and hit the floor behind him, Iwaizumi turned to Oikawa and lashed out at his captain.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?! Get your head out of your ass and actually set me something I can hit!”

Iwaizumi watched Oikawa’s face as a grimace crossed his face, but soon after, his face twisted with anger.

“Get my head out of **my** ass Iwaizumi?! How about you get your head out of your ass? What in the hell is going on with you? You invite me over to your house, ditch me, and then proceed to give me the cold shoulder?! Who the fuck does that Iwaizumi? Let me tell you, assholes. Not best friends, which is what I thought you were.” Oikawa took a few steps towards Iwaizumi and reached out for him as he said more quietly than his previous outburst, “Please talk to me Iwa-chan. Tell me what’s going on with you. It’s been so weird without you in my life and I don’t know if I can stand it.”

Iwaizumi smacked Oikawa’s hand away, said “I wasn’t kidding Oikawa. I said, leave me alone. This isn’t something you need to worry yourself with.” He stormed off towards the locker room, trying to hold back tears for the second time that day. Each one of Oikawa’s words felt like punches to his gut. He knew that ignoring Oikawa’s feelings in the situation would only make the situation worse, but Iwaizumi was having trouble thinking straight. Iwaizumi felt like he could barely hold himself together for the short walk back to the locker room, let alone for the rest of practice. He could only imagine what his best friend’s face looked like at the moment.  

“Iwaizumi! Where are you going?” his coach yelled from across the gym.

“Stomachache Coach. I’m going home.” Iwaizumi said with his hand raised, waving off his coach and anyone who would try to follow him out of practice. As soon as he opened the door to the locker room, he could feel the tears start to fall once again.

The walk home for Iwaizumi went by in a flash since all he could think about was how shitty his day had turned out. He honestly did not think that ignoring Oikawa would be so difficult and would do so much damage. He knew that he was one hundred percent the one in the wrong here and that he was causing so much pain to Oikawa. There were just too many feelings that Iwaizumi had no idea how to deal with and that was making it so hard for him to deal with what was going on. Iwaizumi walked into his house and was surprised to find both his parents at home, sitting in the living room.

“Haijme. Welcome home, although I thought I would be saying that to you in about forty-five minutes, not at this particular time. Do you care to explain what you are doing home at this time?” his father said questionably. His mother looked up at Iwaizumi through her glasses to see what his reply would be.

“Hello father. Hello mother. I wasn’t feeling well at practice and I left halfway through practice. I actually just want to go upstairs and lay down. Hopefully it will pass by the morning.” Iwaizumi said while turning towards the stairwell.

“Hold it Haijme.” Said his mother, stopping his escape to his bedroom. “You must know that we find this type of behavior unacceptable. You are the vice-captain of your team and leaving practice early for something as trivial as a simple stomachache is ridiculous. Skipping practice could lead to you letting down the team and failure at your job. If you want to have a competitive application for university, skipping out on practice is not the way to accomplish that. I do not want to see you skipping practice ever again, no matter the excuse. Do you understand me Haijme?”

Iwaizumi, unwilling to fight with his parents tonight, just murmured a quiet, “Yes mother. I understand.”

“Thank you, son. You understand that your father and I just want the best future for you as possible, right? You may go up to your bedroom now.”

Released by his mother, Iwaizumi bounded up the stairs, ran into his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him, and proceeded to throw himself onto his bed. He spent the entire evening in his bedroom, turning down his mother’s offer for dinner. He really did not feel like doing anything except wallow in his misery, curled up in his bed. Iwaizumi fell asleep around eight o’clock, still in his practice uniform. As the case was the past few days, Iwaizumi’s dreams came shortly after. The dream this night featured Oikawa as no surprise to Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi knew that this was one hundred percent a dream since his conscious was still well aware of the blowout that they had earlier that day. Although he was certain that what was about to happen was a dream, his mind made no effort to stop it or to wake up.

They were at a local park and he was staring at Oikawa swinging on a swing, still looking at Iwaizumi, utter delight crossing his face. His dream Oikawa was beaming at him and reaching out to him with his left hand. Iwaizumi walked over to dream Oikawa and grasped Oikawa’s hand with his own. Holding on tight, Iwaizumi slowed Oikawa’s swinging until he came to a stop. Dream Oikawa pulled Iwaizumi close to him, to where Iwaizumi had both of his legs straddling Oikawa’s thighs.

“Have I ever told you how utterly beautiful you are Iwa-chan?” Oikawa whispered to Iwaizumi, pressing his lips to where their hands were joined. Iwaizumi blushed and moved closer to Oikawa.

“Shut up Ass-kawa.”

“Make me.” Oikawa retorted, glancing up at Iwaizumi with a smirk that replaced the grin that always seemed to be on his face when around Iwaizumi.

Taking this as an invitation, Iwaizumi squeezed his hand against Oikawa’s hand and grabbed the side of his face with the opposite. “Fine.” he said and pressed his lips against Oikawa’s. He felt Oikawa’s grip loosen and the hand that was connected with his own, slowly dropped down where it came to a stop to rest against Iwaizumi’s hip. He continued to kiss Oikawa, opening his lips to try and deepen the kiss. He heard Oikawa hum as his lips parted, allowing Iwaizumi to run his tongue along his bottom lip. The hand on Iwaizumi’s hip gripped harder as the kiss slowly became more uncontrolled. Tongues slid against each other and Iwaizumi pulled away slightly just so that he could start to nibble on Oikawa’s bottom lip. Oikawa let out a soft moan and used his other hand to push against his back to bring Iwaizumi against his chest. Iwaizumi was now pressed up against Oikawa’s chest and was sitting on his lap. Iwaizumi slowly started to move his lips over Oikawa’s jaw and down onto his neck. Oikawa’s hands in the meantime were slowly running themselves over Iwaizumi’s abs underneath his shirt, pressing gently but moving more and more urgently as Iwaizumi got close to where Oikawa’s neck met his shoulder. Iwaizumi bit down into the dip above Oikawa’s collarbone, quickly licking the sore spot. Iwaizumi did this a few more times, unraveling Oikawa’s composure further and further with each bite, before moving to the spot just below his ear. Sucking this spot brought out a much louder moan from Oikawa’s mouth this time.

“Ugnh, **Haijme** ” crooned Oikawa, as his one hand worked its way down to start to palm the bulge that was growing in Iwaizumi’s pants.

Groaning, Iwaizumi started to grind up into Oikawa’s hand as he moved back up to kiss Oikawa’s now kiss-swollen lips.

“Ding, ding ding.”

_Wait that’s my text tone._

 

Iwaizumi was woken up abruptly from his dream where he found himself curled against his pillow, still in his practice uniform, and half-hard.

_Fuck. God, another dream like that._

Iwaizumi was still out of breath, and still imagining his dream Oikawa when he glanced down at his phone to see a text from Hanamaki, asking if he was doing alright. A quick look at his phone clock also told him that it was one in the morning.

_God damn you Hanamaki._

Feeling totally unsatisfied, Iwaizumi decided he needed to take care of his problem, well ahem, down there. He pulled himself off his bed first to strip down to his boxers. Laying back down on his bed, Iwaizumi reached down into his pants and pulled out his half-hard length. Picturing his usual fantasy of a girl with larger-than-average breasts, long hair, and plain facial features (he appreciates the natural beauty of a woman as opposed to those who wear a ton of makeup, not that they aren’t beautiful either. That was just his preference.) Moving his hand up and down his length, Iwaizumi pictured himself moving down her body, suckling on her nipples, and leaving marks up and down her body with hard kisses. Ten minutes passed of Iwaizumi’s current fantasy and he was started to feel frustrated. His usual fantasy was doing absolutely nothing for him tonight it seemed. Here he was, laying on his bed, trying to get himself off and having no success. He tried coming up with a new girl in his mind but when the first face he thought of was Oikawa’s and he could **feel** the arousal flare up in his groin, he quickly pulled his hand off his dick and threw a pillow over his face. Iwaizumi screamed into the pillow, praying that it did enough to muffle the noise.

_No, no, no, no. NO. This is not happening._

Why? Why was Oikawa the first face he thought of when he needed new fapping material? He was his **best friend** , for crying out loud. Sure, he couldn’t imagine his life without Oikawa, even with all of the shit that they are currently going through, but liking Oikawa like that? No way. Not possible. He wasn’t gay, he was sure of it. Iwaizumi could not think of any guy in his life that he had felt something like **that**. Sure, he could appreciate a man who is naturally beautiful, but that didn’t make him gay did it? He was pretty sure that everyone thought that way.

He turned himself over onto his back and stared up at his ceiling. His mind kept running through thoughts of Oikawa, his feelings of frustration and that other feeling that kept popping up that he couldn’t really put a name to just yet running through his mind. He knew that he could talk to Hanamaki about this but his pride kept him from doing just that. Iwaizumi had no idea who he could turn to. His parents? No way. He knew that his parents loved him and wanted the best for him, even if they seemed somewhat harsh at times, but he couldn’t imagine sitting his parents down to discuss whether or not if he liked boys. Iwaizumi shuddered at that imagined scenario. He grabbed his phone and opened up the web browser. Google would just have to do for now.

He typed in the search bar “I think I like guys” and clicked on the first result, a website called Puberty 101. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes when he read the website’s title. A quick read through the article made Iwaizumi’s heart race. According to the article, it seemed like same sex experimentation was something common that people did during their teen years, but it wasn’t exactly what Iwaizumi currently felt and was dealing with. There was one word that stood out to him on the page though: “bisexual.” He decided to search that term next.

Iwaizumi quickly learned that there was a lot more depth to sexual orientation than what he thought previously. He couldn’t believe how diverse sexuality was and was actually surprised that he hadn’t learned any of this sooner, considering two of his best friends were gay. He spent a few more minutes browsing various websites before going back to two terms that caught his eye: the first term being bisexual and the second one being demisexual. Demisexuality, Iwaizumi read, was the sexual attraction to a person whom you have an emotional bond with, and he felt that maybe it was possible that this term was exactly what he was looking for, although he kept going back to bisexuality as well. Sighing to himself and feeling frustrated at trying to label himself, he threw his phone back down onto his bed and rubbed his palms against his eyes until he started to see bright shapes dance against his eyelids. He foolishly thought that a night of surfing the internet would give him the answers that he was looking for. With the number of explicit dreams he had of Oikawa the past couple of days, there was no denying to himself that he was going through some sort of sexual awakening.

“Holy shit.” He groaned as he pressed the heels of his palms against his eyelids again.

What he couldn’t figure out was the reason why he was attracted to Oikawa of all people. Was it simply because he was another man, albeit a handsome one Iwaizumi begrudgingly admitted, or because he was his best friend? Iwaizumi decided there was only one way to find out. He reached out for his cell phone and opened it up to the browser again. Iwaizumi pulled up the porn site that he normally frequented and clicked on the “categories” page. Pressing his finger to the “gay” option, Iwaizumi felt his eye widen as he looked at the page that opened on his phone. Various videos were listed with titles ranging from “Tiny Twink Rides Huge Cock Hard” to “Couple Sweet Love Making.”

“Oh my god” Iwaizumi whispered to himself, feeling slightly turned on, yet way in over his head, as he kept scrolling down the page. He finally decided to scroll back up to the couple video he saw earlier and pressing play. Making sure the volume on his phone was turned down, Iwaizumi watched two grown men passionately make out with each other for about ten minutes. By the time the taller of the two men moved down his partner’s naked chest and started to unbuckle his pants, Iwaizumi could feel that he was completely hard. Trying to keep an open mind through the whole thing, Iwaizumi slid his free hand down into his boxers and wrapped his hand around his length. Moving his hand so that it matched the taller man’s head as it bobbed up and down his partner’s cock, Iwaizumi could feel his arousal growing with each passing minute. When the couple moved onto the bed and the slimmer of the two men laid down on the bed, Iwaizumi could feel his anticipation grow as he could guess where they were going to go next. His hand was moving slower and lazier as he watched the bottom pull his knees close to his chest as the top, kneeling on the bed, grabbed his hips to pull him against his spread apart thighs. The top grabbed a small bottle, that Iwaizumi guessed was lube, off the nightstand next to the bed and watched as he spread the liquid across his fingers. Iwaizumi felt a tightening in his lower abdomen when the top placed a finger in the hole of his partner, slowly moving in and out. Iwaizumi, turned on from not only the sights but the low moans of the bottom, could feel himself getting close and started to pick up the pace of his hand movements. When the top slowly started to enter his partner, Iwaizumi was furiously pumping his hand up and down his length, precum leaking from the tip, spreading down his cock with each pass of his hand. White-hot crossed Iwaizumi’s vision as he came into his hand, pushed over the edge when the bottom screamed out as his partner hit a certain spot on a few deep thrusts in a row. After Iwaizumi turned off the video and closed out of his phone browser, he cleaned off his dirty hand with some tissues from his desk.

Iwaizumi was surprised that he felt slightly better. Well, there was no denying it now. Iwaizumi just masturbated to a video of two men making love and was totally okay with that fact. He knew that he still was attracted to women so he thought that the bisexuality definition fit him best, although he didn’t want to put a huge investment into labels just yet. He still had not one single clue why he was dreaming of Oikawa so frequently but he thought that maybe his suppressed sexuality was projecting the one male he was close to in his dreams, maybe as a way for his subconscious to tell him something? Iwaizumi wasn’t sure and really didn’t want to find out. One look at the clock told him that this whole situation was not going to be solved in one night. Smiling to himself for the first time in what felt like forever to Iwaizumi, he turned over and closed his eyes, falling asleep quickly.

He woke up the next morning and realized that this was the first night that he did not have a dream about Oikawa. Thoughts on his actions from earlier that morning started to creep at the edges of his still-sleepy brain and a rush of emotions start to fill Iwaizumi. Embarrassment, shame, relief, confusion, apprehension all ran through Iwaizumi at once and he could fill his face and neck heat up. He knew that there was no way he would tell Oikawa about what happened last night but he knew he had to face him at some point regarding his behavior.

_Maybe tomorrow I will talk to him after practice._

 

* * *

 

Two weeks went by and Iwaizumi still had yet to talk to Oikawa about what happened at practice. He tried approaching Oikawa after practice a few times, but it was clear that the captain wanted nothing to do with him. Oikawa would just brush him off saying, “It’s fine Iwa-chan, I totally get it.” Or he would literally just walk away from a dumb founded Iwaizumi. He knew that he one-hundred percent was the person at fault in the situation but he couldn’t believe that Oikawa would not even give him a chance to apologize. In all the years Iwaizumi knew Oikawa, he never knew him to be this cold, at least to him. Iwaizumi decided that following morning that he was going to force Oikawa to at least hear him out. He admittedly was partially motivated by the dream he had the previous night, one that featured Oikawa and Iwaizumi marathoning Star Wars on Iwaizumi’s laptop, curled up with each other in his bed. Iwaizumi’s dreams since that first, um, adventurous night had slowly been changing from sexual fantasies of his best friend to things like cuddling and waking up with Oikawa next to him. The time away from Oikawa felt so long to Iwaizumi and he missed his best friend. The ache that he felt from the loss of his best friend was driving Iwaizumi crazy. Waking up feeling disappointed that each, admittedly disgustingly sweet, dream was not real was really started to take a toll on Iwaizumi. He was unable to pay attention at all in class or during practice and people who weren’t even close to Iwaizumi were starting to notice. He needed to do something, and quickly before there was no salvaging their already crumpled relationship.

Anticipation helped pass the time for Iwaizumi, and the next thing he knew, it was time for practice. Iwaizumi went through the motions, always keeping an eye on Oikawa like he normally did, and was paired up with Yahaba for the final drills of the evening. Their coach knew that Oikawa and Iwaizumi were fighting and rather than stir the pot, he put Iwaizumi to work strengthening their second year setter. As soon as Iwaizumi heard the whistle signaling the end of practice, he sprinted to the locker room so that he could catch Oikawa before he gave him the slip, catching a sly comment from Hanamaki on his way over there.

“Hmm I wonder where the fire is?”

Iwaizumi threw on his street clothes and walked over to where Oikawa was changing next to Matsukawa and Hanamaki.

“Hey. I need to talk to you.” He said staring at Oikawa’s back, hoping he would at least look at him. Oikawa slowly turned around and had a bright smile across the face, the very same one that never reached his eyes.

“Well, well Iwaizumi. I wonder what could possibly be going on that I would be graced with your lovely presence.”

Iwaizumi clenched his fists, more to steel his nerves and not out of anger, and glanced back at the “meme team”, as Oikawa lovingly called the duo. Rather than put this off any longer, he decided to just go ahead and say it in front of the two as well. He reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a small piece of paper that had something written on it, and handed it to Oikawa.

“Here. This is for you.”

Looking down at his shoes, Iwaizumi waited a few moments before he glanced back up at Oikawa. His eyes widened when he saw Oikawa’s expression. Eyes wide, matching Iwaizumi’s, Oikawa burst out into laughter, wiping tears out of the corner of his eyes.

“Are you serious? Like is this legit?!” Oikawa laughed, clutching his sides, still holding onto the piece of paper. Hanamaki leaned over Oikawa’s shoulder and attempted to grab it from his grip. Finding himself unsuccessful, Hanamaki looked at Iwaizumi and said, “C’mon! Tell us what it says.”

Oikawa straightened and cleared his throat.

“Ahem. This card is good for 1 (one) free punch across the face to the shit head standing in front of you. Expires in 10 minutes.”

Hanamaki and Matsukawa turned to look at each other and burst out into laughter, Oikawa quickly joining them again.

“I’m dead serious guys! I deserve it for what I have done. Now c’mon Oikawa stop laughing and do it quick before I change my mind.”

“Fine.”

The punch came a lot faster and harder than Iwaizumi expected. Oikawa’s right fist connected with his lower jaw and Iwaizumi was pretty sure he blacked out for a second. Rubbing his jaw, he watched Oikawa shake his hand out and as he began to collect his things, Iwaizumi reached out and grabbed Oikawa’s arm.

“Oikawa. I am so sorry for what I have done to you these past couple of weeks. I have been the absolute worst friend and I regret every single one of my actions. I’m kind of, um, going through some shit right now and I’m trying to figure it all out and I’ve been lashing out to you because of it. You are my best friend Oikawa and I really, really do not think I could handle losing that friendship of ours.” Taking a deep breath, Iwaizumi let go of Oikawa’s arm and took a step back. “I hope you can someday forgive me for what I’ve done here.”

He turned away from Oikawa, Hanamaki, and Matsuhana, the latter two just standing there watching everything unfold in stunned silence.

“Iwa-chan, stop.” Iwaizumi stopped dead in his tracks, afraid to turn around to face Oikawa. He listened to Oikawa approach him and took a sharp breath in when he felt Oikawa’s arms wrap around his chest, pinning his arms to his sides.

“For as long as you are my best friend, that will be the last time that I ever hurt you. I forgive you and I wanted to say I’m sorry too for not giving you a chance to apologize sooner. I’ve also been a shitty friend to you.” Iwaizumi felt Oikawa’s arms tighten around him. “You hurt me Iwa-chan. I want you to know that but more importantly, I want you to know if you need someone to talk to about personal stuff, I’m always here for you. No one should have to go through something difficult alone, even if they are a shitty friend.” Iwaizumi, touched by Oikawa’s quick forgiveness, closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he felt Oikawa let go of him. He turned around to face his best friend and stuck out his right fist, smiling. Oikawa struck his fist against Iwaizumi’s and started laughing again.

“But let’s talk about apology! That was your idea of a good way to apologize, getting a punch to the face? Iwa-chan! Here’s some advice, next time you fight with someone, offer to buy them lunch instead of using your face as a punching bag. C’mon let’s walk home together.” Iwaizumi followed Oikawa out of the locker room, leaving Hanamaki and Matsuhana behind, confused but yet, excited at what they just witnessed.

 

* * *

 

Everything seemed to be back to normal to Iwaizumi.

Well not quite. Turns out, Iwaizumi still was unable to make eye contact with Oikawa for more than a second. Every time he would lock eyes with Oikawa’s, he would have flashes of his dreams from the previous night’s pop into his mind. Iwaizumi assumed that once he and Oikawa made up, the dreams about him would stop but they were still going just as strong as the day that they started. He was embarrassed and his face would flush red every time he pictured Oikawa unraveled beneath him or the two of them curled up in his bed together. How was he supposed to tell his best friend that? “Oh yeah by the way the reason I’ve been acting so weird is that I have a crush on you and I fantasize about us being together every day, and not in the best friend type of way.” There’s no way he could do that.

Another few weeks went by for Iwaizumi with nothing really changing. He was still gay for his best friend but their relationship was stronger than ever. Practices were going really smoothly now that Oikawa and Iwaizumi were back together working on drills. The volleyball team was really starting to shine and everyone was becoming more and more excited for their upcoming tournament. As for the eye contact issue, that was one hundred percent still there. It wasn’t until one day after practice on their walk home that Oikawa finally mentioned something to Iwaizumi. He was lost in thought, listening to Oikawa ramble about his day or new comic book he got, Iwaizumi couldn’t remember as he was replaying the dream he had last night in his mind. Oikawa tapped him on the shoulder and said “Earth to Iwa-chan. Come in Iwa-chan! This is your captain speaking.” Iwaizumi shook his head, face partially red from being caught lost in thought, and apologized to his friend.

“What has you so distracted Iwa-chan? You normally at least try to listen when I go off on a nerd tangent.” Oikawa stood in front of him, hands on his hips, head tilted as he waited for Iwaizumi to give an explanation.

“Sorry. Just something on my mind that’s all, don’t worry about it! I’m fine!” Iwaizumi stammered.

“C’mon Iwa-chan tell me! Is it a girl? You shouldn’t be embarrassed to tell your best friend about your crush!” crooned Oikawa.

Iwaizumi felt his head and neck turn hot as the blush creeped all across his features.

“Ah, uh, well it’s something like that” he said shaking his head. “But honestly, when do you think I have the time for a girlfriend Asskawa?”

“Iwa-chan I know you’re lying, so spill.” Oikawa said as he started to poke Iwaizumi’s sides, trying to tickle an explanation out of his best friend, each question punctuated by a finger. “Is she cute? I doubt she’s cuter than me. What class is she in? Is she in any clubs? Do I know her? C’mon spill Iwa-chan I want to know.”

Each poke to his side crumbled Iwaizumi’s will power until finally after all this time, the wall came crumbling down. He reached up and grabbed Oikawa’s face with both of his hands and kissed him.

Iwaizumi, realizing what he just did, sprung backwards and sprinted off down the street. He could hear Oikawa yelling at him to stop.

_No. I’m not running anymore. I can’t go through another fight like that. Man up Haijme. You made your bed, now lie in it._

Iwaizumi squatted down and hid his head against his knees. He could feel the tears starting to run down his face as he waiting for Oikawa to catch up to him.

He felt Oikawa’s hand on his left shoulder and heard him say, “What was that about Iwa-chan? Please stand up and talk to me.”

Taking a deep breath, Iwaizumi stood up, unabashed at the tears that fell from his eyes. What he didn’t expect to see was the look of concern on his best friend’s face. He expected anger, disgust, outrage, but not concern. He glanced down at his shoes and mumbled.

“What was that? Your shoes may have heard you but all I heard was hmhmhm.”

Iwaizumi brought his gaze up to look at Oikawa directly in the face, longer than a few seconds, for the first time in what felt like forever.

“It’s you. You asked me about my crush. It’s you Oikawa. Of all the fucking people in the world, it had to be you, my best friend.” Iwaizumi said, more tears threatening to leak out again.

Oikawa took a step closer to Iwaizumi and grabbed ahold of his arm. “Is this what has been bothering you all this time? You like me? But, you’re not gay.”

“Yeah well, neither are you, but here we are!” Iwaizumi was starting to become frustrated. This is not where he thought this night was going to go.

Next thing he knew, Oikawa was pulling on his arm, dragging him into the alleyway by his house. Oikawa pushed him against the wall, looked up into his eyes, and reciprocated the kiss that Iwaizumi gave him just a few moments ago. Shocked, Iwaizumi’s hands flew up to grab ahold of Oikawa’s arms tightly.

_!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Iwaizumi could not even pull together a coherent thought as Oikawa continued to kiss Iwaizumi’s mouth. He felt something poke his bottom lip and he ever so slightly parted his lips to allow Oikawa’s tongue enter his mouth. Breaking off before deepening the kiss, Oikawa glanced down at Iwaizumi’s face and said, “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do this?” Pressing back down against Iwaizumi’s lips, Oikawa pushed himself against Iwaizumi but then, Iwaizumi pulled his hands off of Oikawa’s arms to grab ahold of his hips. Iwaizumi broke the kiss to flip their positions, Oikawa now pressed against the wall and Iwaizumi hovering slightly over Oikawa’s right thigh. Iwaizumi began to run kisses along Oikawa’s jaw and brought his left hand up to run through Oikawa’s hair. Sucking spots into Oikawa’s neck and tightening his grip on his hair, Iwaizumi was losing himself in what was previously a fantasy but now was happening in reality. Pressing his lips against Oikawa’s collarbone had Oikawa moaning in his ear. The heat pooling in his lower abdomen was growing deeper with each passing moment, until Iwaizumi pressed his hips against Oikawa’s thigh to do small thrusts, trying to relieve the pressure that was building in his pants.

“Iwa-chan, wait.” Oikawa groaned.

“Hmm” Iwaizumi hummed as he made his way back up to Oikawa’s mouth.

“Iwa-mhm” His sentence, interrupted by Iwaizumi’s lips. Iwaizumi felt two hands push against his shoulders, disconnecting the kiss. Iwaizumi blinked a few times, trying to catch his breath.

“Um wow.” He managed to get out. “That was uh something.”

Oikawa chuckled and pulled Iwaizumi in for a hug. “As much as I would have loved to go further, your parents are literally around the corner and I really do not want to explain this” he said as he glanced down between the two of them, “to your mother on the off chance she goes for a neighborhood stroll on this lovely evening.”

“Oh that would just go over so well wouldn’t it?” Iwaizumi chuckled. He reached up and tucked a stray hair behind Oikawa’s ear. “Thank you for accepting me Oikawa.”

“Of course. It seems that we have a lot to talk about. Let’s get going. I don’t know about you but I am starving! But before we leave” Oikawa reached down and pecked Iwaizumi’s lips. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Iwaizumi, yet again touched by Oikawa’s concern, squeezed his best friend tightly. “I am more okay now than I have been in a long time. Although this isn’t exactly how I pictured this turning out, I’m so happy right now Oikawa. Thank you.”

Making sure that they were halfway decent, Iwaizumi and Oikawa continued their walk back to their respective homes, both with a bit of a spring in their steps.

_Things are finally starting to look up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Oikawa give us his side of the story and bit more conflict for these two (sorry!)

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me at [allonsyabbey.tumblr.com](http://allonsyabbey.tumblr.com)


End file.
